Life in Death

Resurrection Day and the preceding week gives us pause to reflect this Monday on how life comes from death.

Jesus' death at Calvary gave life to "all who received him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12 (NIV) No other religion can claim a deity that willingly gave up his life so that his followers can have hope of a brighter tomorrow.

The song writer wrote so powerfully that because "He (Jesus) lives, I can face tomorrow; because He lives, all fear is gone." But first Jesus had to die at Calvary because we did not have the power to save ourselves. His death paved the way for the Christ-followers to have power over death and victory in this life.

We believe a similar principle applies to those in relationships. In order to have a successful marriage, some things have to die so that our relationships can live. Our single life, single-mindedness and self-centered thinking are among those things that we have to bury in order to resurrect a marriage centered on God, unity and oneness.

There is no greater display of love than that of a person giving up his life for the good of another.

Imagine how your spouse would respond to you if you responded to them in a sacrificial manner. How would they react knowing that you had their best interest at heart?

As we wrote in a previous blog, oneness is a process that begins with dying to ourselves. Jesus is a married person's example of selflessness. Everything he did was about and for others. If only we could follow fully in His example! How wonderful our marriage and other relationships would be!

It's Marriage Mondays . . .

Praying for your Mate

We birthed Marriage Mondays a several years ago when friends of ours confided that they were having marital troubles. With our busy schedules we found it difficult to pray regularly and decided that we would come together at least every Monday to intercede on behalf of the marriages of family members and friends as the Lord directed us.


I have to admit that one of the hardest things for us to do as a married couple is to find time to pray together and that is not altogether accidental. There is power in prayer and the enemy of our souls and our relationships knows it.

God hears the prayers of His righteous children. Just as a good mother hears and responds to the cry of her helpless child, God promises that when we cry out to Him, He will hear us. Not only does He hear us, He also will answer with what we need. Prayer gives us access to our Creator and Him access to us. No wonder the enemy fights to keep us out of His presence through prayer.

But something wonderful happens when God's couples pray. Prayer fosters and promotes intimacy between couple because there is power in agreement when a husband and wife pray earnestly together.

Prayer between couples also creates conversation. As we prepare for prayer, we talk about our hopes, dreams, even fears and then lay them at the altar in prayer.

Prayer between couples creates a connection. This connection is not just with the Master but with one another. When we finish praying together, we feel as if we've accomplished good.

Prayer between couples creates communication. This communication often takes place long after we've finished praying. Sometimes in prayer a concern will be made known to the other and we will talk about it at length together.

Don't let the enemy keep you from prayer. It is the source of power through Christ Jesus!

It's Marriage Mondays ...

Becoming One

When you got married, did you plan for a wedding or for a marriage? Did you plan for one day or for a lifetime? Did you place much of your focus on preparing your relationship for life's storms or picking out the perfect cake? Sadly, too many couples are marrying for the wrong reasons and focusing their energies and efforts on activities that don't build their marriage.

Reality shows like Whose Wedding Is It? and Say Yes to the Dress demonstrate the modern-day couples' obssession with selecting the right dress and reception location rather than choosing - with God's direction - a mature mate who will love them through life's ups and downs.

Marriage is the becoming of one flesh (Genesis 2:24) and it is a process the Bible says begins with each person forsaking their natural ties with their parents and "cleaving" or dedicating themselves to bonding with one another. Becoming one flesh involves a spouse giving up his (or her) selfish interests for the interest of the other. That process does not occur on the wedding day. Truthfully, even a "married" couple retains the "single" mindset for many years after the wedding date.

Reflecting back on the early years of my marriage, I remember it taking a few years for me to call the items I had purchased prior to the marriage "ours." Talk about having a single mindset!

When Jim and I counsel engaged couples or singles, we advise them to choose their mate wisely. We encourage them to ask the Lord to show them the person who will be willing to let go of their singleness and and work on becoming one and building a marriage that will last.

It literally takes a lifetime of both the husband and the wife giving selflessly of themselves to the other whether they are deserving or not.

God wants us to focus beyond the wedding day. He tells us to focus on the eternal rather than the temporary. Some things for newly-married, engaged and "lifers" to focus on comes in Ephesians 5:22-30:

• Wives should submit lovingly to their husbands leadership and authority because Christ has given him the responsibility for leadership in the family and the husband is accountable to Christ; (vs. 22-24)
• Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church to the point that he is willing to give up his life that his wife might live; (vs. 25)
• Husbands should look for opportunities to see his wife grow in her faith and walk with God that God will be pleased; (vs. 26-27)
• Husbands should love their wives as much as they love themselves - and football, their car, etc. (vs. 28)

It's Marriage Mondays ...